Reviewer:
JoeSponge
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favorite -
December 16, 2008
Subject:
Watch it, you'll have a whale of a time
Oh my G_d, it's HUGE. It can't dance. It can't really move very well to a syncopated beat. It has a plastic-y face (probably "sticky") face. I did think that it was going to do a magic trick (no, not w/ the umbrella...) -- I thought the gloves were magician's gloves, kind of like the endless hanky.
I could hear people in the audiance yelling "put it on! Put it ON! Up in front!"
As Bob Hope would say, "thanks, for the mamaries", but the rest needs to stay under the pink raincoat. (Is that a euphemism for a dental dam?) Seriously, where DID she pull that umbrella from? It wasn't on stage, then she reached behind her and -- voila! Ouch.
THAT is why they have a two-drink minimum at burlesque bars...
Sorry, it's an unimaginative, wooden (plastic) performance, and no batteries. Not that it would have helped, but at least SOMEBODY would have enjoyed it.
Strangely, it reminded me of a children's cartoon. The one with the hippo in the little tutu. Dancing. Jiggling. Yech.
AIEE! Must poke out mind's eye! It bent over, then it stuck tassles on its... ass (best guess). They look like EYES. Staring, unblinking. Kind of like a bug-eyes octopus. Eyes, a gaping maw, and pale, blubbery appendages that probably reach out and grasp any prey slow enough to get caught, and then stuff the prey into the gaping maw where it is blubbered to death. At least it didn't stare with that ugly brown eye... winking and blinking.
Oh, and then one of it's "eyes" gets poked out (pops off).
I think I'm going to hurl.